What Is the Empowerment Triangle?

What Is the Empowerment Triangle?

The Empowerment Triangle is a model of three roles that a person can choose in place of the three reactive roles of the Drama Triangle. A Creator decides how to respond to a situation. A Challenger tells the truth about current reality while believing in the other person. A Coach helps someone else find their own next step by asking, rather than fixing.

It is the central model of The Empowerment Dynamic, abbreviated TED*. The model works at two levels at once: it describes how you think about a situation (your orientation) and how you show up with other people (your role).

Why David Emerald developed it

According to the Center’s account of the origin, the idea arrived in August 2003. David Emerald had just finished coaching sessions in the executive education program at the University of Notre Dame. From the South Bend airport he called Donna Zajonc, his future wife and long-time collaborator, and described a triangle he had drawn on a whiteboard during a session: a more positive counterpart to the Drama Triangle, which he said had come out of him in the moment after he had been thinking about it for a while. After talking it through with Donna he named it The Empowerment Dynamic, and about a week later, in a morning meditation, the shorthand arrived: “It’s TED*!”

The aim was practical. Many people could recognize the Drama Triangle in their own lives, and the question that followed was always the same: what do I do instead? The Empowerment Triangle answers that question with roles a person can practice, one conversation at a time.

How the Empowerment Triangle relates to TED*

TED* is the full framework; the Empowerment Triangle is its central picture. Around it sit the other TED* ideas: the contrast between a problem orientation and an outcome orientation, the pull of Dynamic Tension between where you are and where you want to be, Baby Steps for crossing that gap, and the 3 Vital Questions that turn the model into a daily practice. David introduced all of them in the teaching story The Power of TED*, where TED* is also the name of the character who challenges the main character’s victim thinking.

The Three Roles of the Empowerment Triangle

Each Empowerment Triangle role is the resourceful counterpart of a Drama Triangle role. The table gives the quick reference; the sections below explain how each role works.

Creator: the person who chooses a response

The Creator is the foundation of the triangle. Where the Victim says “life happens to me,” the Creator says “I choose my response.” David Emerald’s phrase for it is that Creators choose choice: circumstances may be outside your control, but the way you meet them is not.

TED* describes three beliefs behind the Creator orientation: I am sufficient, whole and complete; I am responsible for choosing my response to life; and even when things go wrong, I focus on continuous learning. Creators also focus on outcomes, the thing they want to bring into being, rather than on the problem they want to escape. That shift in focus is the first of the 3 Vital Questions.

A Creator does not deny hardship or pretend that unfair things never happen. The difference is where the energy goes: into deciding what to do next, rather than into rehearsing why nothing can be done. See Creator’s Choice and How a Creator Speaks for more on the voice of this role.

Challenger: the truth-teller who believes in you

The Challenger is the resourceful counterpart to the Persecutor. A Persecutor says “I must win” and puts people down to stay in control. A Challenger says “you can do it” and builds people up, by being honest about where things stand.

TED* describes the Challenger as standing on values and integrity, accepting “not knowing” while staying committed to learning, and telling the truth about current reality without blame or judgment. Two questions keep the role honest. The first is the learning question: “Given the situation, what is here to learn or gain?” The second is an intention check: “Is my intention to be right and convince, or to connect, collaborate and support learning?”

A Challenger is not a gentler Persecutor. The stance underneath is different: the Persecutor wants to win, while the Challenger wants the other person, and the situation, to move forward. Read more in The Challenger Role, The Challenger’s Beliefs & Intention and How to be a Compassionate Challenger.

Coach: the partner who asks and trusts

The Coach is the counterpart to the Rescuer. A Rescuer says “let me fix it for you,” which feels helpful and quietly tells the other person they cannot manage alone. A Coach asks “what do you want to create?” and trusts that the answer belongs to the other person.

Coaching in TED* means seeing others as Creators, asking generative questions, trusting their wisdom, letting go of control and relaxing into the discomfort of not knowing how things will turn out. It is a stance as much as a technique. You can practice it in a one-minute hallway conversation as easily as in a formal coaching session. For the shift from helping-by-fixing to helping-by-asking, read Stop Rescuing. Start Coaching.

Empowerment Triangle vs. Drama Triangle

The two triangles describe the same moment in two ways. The Drama Triangle (Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer) was identified in the late 1960s by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman, MD. TED* calls it the Dreaded Drama Triangle, or DDT, and treats its roles as ego strategies people use to manage anxiety. The Empowerment Triangle offers three alternatives that serve the same moment differently.

The shift is not a matter of being nicer. It changes what you focus on (a problem or an outcome), how you relate to other people (telling or asking, controlling or trusting) and what you do (reacting or taking Baby Steps). For the complete role-by-role comparison, including a side-by-side table and before-and-after conversations, read Drama Triangle vs. Empowerment Triangle: what’s the difference? To learn how each drama role works, start with What Is the Drama Triangle?

How to Shift From Drama to Empowerment

Each Drama Triangle role has a direct Empowerment Triangle counterpart. The shift usually happens in a single move: noticing which role you are in, then asking the question that belongs to the role you would rather choose.

Real-Life Examples of the Empowerment Triangle

The three examples below are illustrative composites written to show the roles in action. They are not drawn from named individuals.

Workplace conflict

Personal relationships

Coaching and leadership

Leaders often slip into the Rescuer role because it looks like good management: someone brings a problem, and the leader solves it. Over time, the team learns to bring problems instead of solutions. A leader practicing the Coach role asks three questions in place of giving an answer: What outcome do you want? What have you tried? What is one Baby Step you could take today?

The effect of a problem-only focus shows up in one story from the Center’s blog. A new executive built her meetings around the question “What problems do we need to address?” and watched them grow from one hour to two hours of complaints. Reframing the agenda around the outcome the team wanted changed what people talked about. Read the full story in Problems Stick Together Like Glue. For an organizational example of the Empowerment Triangle at scale, see how Cleveland Clinic uses TED* in its Engagement Leadership Series.

How to Practice the Empowerment Triangle

You do not need a special situation to begin. The practice below takes about five minutes and works best on a real, current frustration.

1. 1

   Identify your default reactions

   Notice what you think, feel and do in the first few minutes of a difficult moment. Do you feel powerless, reach for blame, or rush in to fix? Naming the reaction without judging it is the first act of the Creator. The self-check below helps.

2. 2

   Clarify your desired outcome

   Write one sentence that starts with “I want to create…” rather than “I want to get rid of…”. Outcomes keep the focus on what you are building and give the other roles something to serve.

3. 3

   Choose a role for your next step

   Ask which role would serve the outcome: Creator for a decision you own, Challenger for a truth that needs saying, Coach for someone who owns the problem. Then take one Baby Step: short, concrete and entirely within your control.

Discover Your Empowerment Orientation

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