That Pesky Inner Persecutor

TED* Team · October 24, 2024

Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. How you relate to yourself will have a big impact on how you relate to others.

Freeing yourself from the influence of that pesky inner Persecutor—one of the roles in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)—begins when you realize that you are not the voice of your inner Persecutor. You are a Creator who is aware of the inner Persecutor’s voice, and knows it is not your true self.

Your inner Persecutor may have gotten started by re-channeling critical voices you heard as a child. But you don’t have to have a tough childhood to develop a harsh inner critic.

Your internal operating system is geared to protect you from danger, so your biological systems focus on keeping you safe, above all other instincts. Our ancestors worried about their next meal, warm shelter, and safety from life-threatening situations, so their minds and internal chatter were fixated on survival.

We certainly recognize there are many threats today from tragic wars, storms, and many more real fears. But life and work in the world, for much of humanity, is less about protection from external threats and more about how we can soften the criticism toward ourselves.

We have coached hundreds of leaders who, by all accounts, are outwardly successful. But when asked about what they say to themselves privately, it is amazing how harsh they are toward themselves.

That pesky inner Persecutor tries to keep you safe by scanning the horizon for possible threats, perceived or real. Its attention goes to your inner fears, and any insecure belief you may have about yourself. For example, when you have something important to say in a meeting, it might say: “You haven’t thought this through, so don’t say something and look stupid.” Or it might limit what you want to create and demand: “It would be selfish to go back to school now. You have a family to feed.” The possibilities for the intrusion of this voice are endless!

Stepping into your true self, the inner Creator in TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)^®, sometimes requires you to be brave, even courageous. Calling forth your dreams can feel risky, and subject yourself to criticism or even rejection. That pesky Persecutor thinks it is protecting you when it criticizes and causes you to doubt yourself and tells you to play it safe.

Here is an exercise we recommend: During the next few days, listen to what your inner Persecutor has to say. If you are like most people, what you hear may be recurring old criticisms and self-doubts. Simply take note and listen to the voice.

You don’t have to win the argument with your inner Persecutor. In the place of fighting, welcome it and continue to listen.

Now consider: If this harsh voice came from your best friend, would you take their advice? If this inner voice was your accountant or doctor, would you seek their opinion? Probably not, but our hunch is you often listen to your inner Persecutor.

Here’s the thing. Many people do not realize this inner Persecutor is running in the background of their consciousness. When you start to listen, you can simply listen to what it wants to share. Gradually you will notice it calms down when it has its say. The more you bring your inner Persecuting voice into conscious awareness, it loosens its grip so you can make more empowered choices.

It’s a thrill to witness this transformation taking hold. You feel more positive energy and joy when you learn to silence your inner Persecutor and allow your inner Creator to emerge—for that is your true voice.