Is Your Desire a Calling or a Craving?
As a young adult, I began to discover the vast difference between cravings and callings. I often made decisions based on what excited me or stirred my passion, yet I was largely blind to the deeper origins of those…
As a young adult, I began to discover the vast difference between cravings and callings. I often made decisions based on what excited me or stirred my passion, yet I was largely blind to the deeper origins of those desires. When facing an important career decision, I sought counsel from a wise mentor. She asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks: “Is your desire rising from a craving or a calling?” At the time, I had no idea how to reflect on such an important distinction.
That question opened a powerful doorway. It invited me to examine whether my longings were pulling me into the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) or calling me forward into the Creator role, the central part of The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*).
A craving is an intense desire to get something. It’s an urge that convinces you that fulfillment lies just beyond your grasp: “If I could just have this or that, then I’d finally feel complete.”Cravings often arise from a sense of lack—an inner whisper that says, “You are not enough.” They can show up psychologically as a longing to escape uncomfortable feelings, or physically as an intense urge for a particular food, drink, or distraction.
Cravings are seductive because they offer temporary relief. Yet satisfaction doesn’t last. Instead, cravings often create a cycle of longing, grasping, and disappointment that keeps you stuck in reactivity rather than living from your Creator essence.
Some signs you may be responding from a craving:
- You reach for something to distract yourself from uncomfortable feelings. (“Just one more piece of chocolate.”)
- You try to fill what feels like a deficiency in yourself.
- You fear that even if you get what you want, you might lose it.
When driven by cravings, your choices often reinforce the Victim mindset of the DDT. Life becomes a roller coaster: chasing the next fix, feeling briefly satisfied, then returning again to the unfulfilled need. Over time, cravings can fuel resentment, exhaustion, and hopelessness.
If a craving is a desire to get, a calling is a desire to give. It arises from wholeness and completeness rather than lack. A calling feels authentic, joyful, and aligned with who you truly are. Unlike cravings, a calling is not about filling a void or pleasing others—it is about expressing your unique gifts and sharing them with the world.
When you follow a calling, the journey itself brings meaning, not just the outcome. Even challenges feel purposeful, and each Baby Step forward affirms your Creator essence.
When you answer a calling, you often notice:
- A movement toward creating, not escaping.
- Joy in both the process and the results.
- A deep sense of authenticity: “This is mine to do.”
- Fulfillment in living from your values and convictions.
Looking through the lens of the two triangles helps illuminate the difference:
- Cravings keep you stuck in the DDT. When you believe something outside yourself will fill an inner hole, you risk slipping into Victim role: “I’ll never get what I want unless this craving is met.” From there, it’s easy to blame others as Persecutors or rescue yourself with distractions.
- Callings connect you to TED*. When you answer a call, you live as a Creator. You shift from fear to love, from deficiency to sufficiency. A calling moves you toward what matters most and frees you from the exhausting cycle of scarcity and reactivity.
Both cravings and callings can propel you into action. But one imprisons you in the Drama Triangle, while the other draws you into the freedom of living as a Creator.
Choosing to answer your callings doesn’t mean cravings will disappear. They are part of being human. The opportunity is to notice them, name them, and not let them define your choices. Here’s a question to ask yourself:“Am I being pulled by a craving, or am I being called by love to live from my deepest convictions?”Cravings will always clamor for your attention, but your callings invite you into a life of authentic contribution, joy, and Creator energy.
And remember, cravings aren’t “bad.” They are signals inviting you to look deeper. By asking this simple but powerful question, you strengthen your capacity to notice, discern, and choose callings that align with your Creator essence.
Until next time, here’s to the Creator in you.