If You Had What You Say You Want, Would You Take It?

TED* Team · February 21, 2025

By Donna Zajonc with David Emerald

When one gets clear about what they want, it is the first step in the journey from Victim to Creator. At least that is what I believed until I spent several months coaching a high-level corporate executive who was familiar with TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)^®.

We spent the first few coaching sessions focusing on his vision and what he said he wanted. He described it in clear detail: what it would look like, sound like, and how it would feel. I was excited to partner with him because I could feel his energy rise and his enthusiasm build as he got really clear about his dream and what he said he wanted.

And then I asked a follow up question. “If you had what you want, would you take it?”He shouted without hesitation, “Hell, no!”I was surprised—even stunned. I had asked that follow up question almost in jest. Of course he would take it, I assumed.

But there he was, adamantly declaring, “Hell, no”.

Confused, I pressed further, “You would not take this? Why not?”“Because it is too big and too scary,” he said.

I realized from that coaching experience how and why some people are conflicted about pursuing their dreams. They can articulate what they want with passion and clarity, but at the same time they hesitate to take action.Would you take what you say you want?How you respond may depend on your willingness to let go of limiting beliefs that block the fulfillment of your desires. Many people choose to remain uninspired and even take comfort in the status quo, while longing for something more.

In our workshops, when we ask participants to describe what they want, it is common to get an empty stare. Why? Because our problem-focused world, and problem-focused minds, are skilled at addressing issues that confront us, rather than aspiring to a higher vision.

It is essential to solve problems, but the dilemma for many, including my coaching client, is that when clarifying their desires, they default to the problem-focused mindset. This keeps the focus and conversations entrenched in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT), feeling like a Victim to their problems.

Limiting stories such as “I’m not good enough” or “I am not worthy” are often the hidden barrier between what someone desires and what they will settle for. It’s not just about wanting something; it’s about believing you deserve it. If deep down you feel unworthy, you may subconsciously sabotage opportunities or blame circumstances and others for not having it.What helps you let go of old beliefs that keep you from what you want?During the coaching sessions with the executive, he chose to release his limiting beliefs that had been blocking his dreams. He had not realized the energy he was spending on managing his fears and how it was stealing his creative inspiration. The key for him was consistency—continuing to focus on his desires and wants, even when his old fears whispered in his ear.

He learned to treat his fears and doubts like old acquaintances rather than enemies. When they spoke, instead of resisting or judging them, he just noticed and welcomed them. “Oh, there’s that old story again,” he would say to himself, and would then choose not to believe it. “I know what I want, and I am now open to receiving it.”This experience with my client helped me to reflect on this question for myself. I ask for what I want, I believe in its possibility, and I gratefully receive it. Therefore, my answer to this question is, “Hell yes!”If this resonates with you, give a thumbs up by clicking on the heart. I also welcome your comments.

Until next time, here’s to the Creator in you.DonnaP.

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