Let Today Mark the End of Victim Consciousness

TED* Team · May 9, 2025

By Donna Zajonc

There is a seismic shift available to each of us the moment we decide to end Victim consciousness—the established mindset that believes life’s events define and confine us.

We all endure genuine victimization: being dangerously cut off in traffic, receiving a difficult diagnosis, or losing a job. These external events happen to us. Yet Victim consciousness is the identity we assume when we allow these neutral events to dictate our inner world and determine who we say we are.

The liberation from this lens is nothing short of life-altering and can be the next stage of our life if we choose to recognize its power.

A child enters a new stage of life when they decide they no longer want to play with a favorite toy. They simply put it in the closet and move on to new games and experiences. Without the drama of putting away that toy, they grow. We call that the maturation process.

Now is the time to put away Victim consciousness in the same way.

When you let go of the belief that anyone or anything outside of you will bring you the freedom and peace you long for—when you recognize that this way of relating to the world no longer serves you—you then begin to transcend it. With quiet confidence, you say, “Today I am done with Victim consciousness.” You decide that your happiness and peace no longer depend on anything external.

The objects and symbols you once pursued—money, status, power, lots of stuff—begin to fall away. You may still have them, but they are no longer the source of your fulfillment. What changes is this: your inner peace now arises from within. These things become effects, not causes. They reflect your inner knowing and recognition of your Creator consciousness.You begin to awaken to the peace and goodness already within you, as you.Are you willing to accept radical responsibility for the effects of seeking happiness outside yourself?

You may have heard the story about the two boys who stand at a barn door. They hold their nose from a pungent smell. The first boy wrinkles his nose and frowns, “Ugh—manure. We’ll have to shovel all this.” The second boy releases the grip over his nose, inhales deeply, and exclaims, “Manure! There must be a pony in here somewhere!” His eyes light up at the promise of seeing a pony.

The barn and its contents remain unchanged; only their interpretations differ.

This story illustrates the pivotal point: Do you see yourself as a Victim of circumstances, or as a Creator who chooses the meaning and interpretation of life’s events?Why this shift matters now more than ever is because our world and relationships are in upheaval. There’s so much strife, uncertainty, conflict, and unsettling events that could make it easy to slip into Victim consciousness and feel overwhelmed by forces beyond your control.

When you adopt Victim thinking, you forfeit your creative power and resilience and possibly become paralyzed by fear. This mindset erects barriers to innovation, empathy, and unity—precisely qualities that the world needs right now. Ending Victim consciousness is not just a personal shift—it’s a collective imperative. It unlocks our capacity to envision new possibilities, mobilize communities, and co-create a future that transcends crisis.

David and I followed Father Richard Rohr’s work for many years. David was thrilled when Father Rohr read his book, The Power of TED*, and sent this endorsement.“Victimhood has become in our time a badge, an identity, a game, an excuse for laziness, frivolous lawsuits, and clever domination of others. As a Christian, I have always taught that Jesus did the victim thing right: He neither played the victim nor created victims of others. I think David Emerald is teaching our world the same wisdom in his Empowerment Dynamic.”Personally, I am grieving the sudden loss of David Emerald, co-founder of the Center for The Empowerment Dynamic (TED)*. I could easily slip into Victim consciousness, feeling powerless before this heartbreaking event. Yet I remain optimistic: breakdowns—both global and personal—often pave the way for breakthroughs.

Last week, I wrote about the three stages of transitions. I described how endings are essential, how we rest in the fertile void, and how new beginnings emerge. Over the past month, I have felt all three stages unfolding at once. David’s passing marks a profound ending. I’m resting in a fertile void—and new partnerships and innovations promise fresh beginnings.

This isn’t airy-fairy positive optimism. It’s the grounded reality of transforming my inner world and in turn, my outer world. I can absolutely attest to the fact that it demands discipline: watching my thoughts, forgiving myself when I slip, and persistently noticing what I am focusing on.“What am I choosing to see? The manure—or the pony?”Over time, this practice upgrades your human operating system—from Victim consciousness to one of full responsibility and inner sovereignty—the hallmarks of your Creator consciousness.

Until next time, here’s to the Creator in you,DonnaPS. The most amazing comments, pictures and testimonials about David are still being posted here. Thank you all for your love and kindness.

We are so thankful for the many donations to David’s memorial scholarship fund. If you wish, you may donate here.