There Are No Don’ts – Only Dos
I, Donna, love baseball. I grew up playing baseball in the backyard of our small rural family home. When the neighborhood boys were old enough to play Little League, I was left without a team since girls were not allowed to play. (Yes, I am that old! I grew up before the US Title IX program, supporting girls’ and women’s sports.)
My dad knew I really missed playing baseball with my neighborhood buddies. He surprised me one day and said, “If you put a girl’s softball team together, I will coach it.” I jumped at the chance, and in no time, I had recruited a dozen girlfriends to play our first game with a new team from another small town, just a few miles away.
That one game grew to several games each summer and in five years there were so many teams that we formed a new regional girls softball league that is still going today. The game of baseball remains close to my heart, not only because I value the role sports can play in team building, but because of the family memories and friendships.
When I recently heard a radio interview about our local professional baseball team, my ears perked up. The sports reporter talked about our team’s pitching coach and why he was so revered around the league. Privately, players from other teams say they want to play for our pitching coach. To learn more about what is so different about this coach, the reporter interviewed a dozen players and asked, “What makes this pitching coach so special? What is his secret?”
The response was nearly unanimous. The coach’s philosophy was summarized in one phrase. “There are no don’ts – only dos.” In his interviews, the reporter pressed the players to explain what the coach meant by that phrase.
The coach and his staff scout the other teams and put together a rather simple game plan like most all coaches. That plan is based upon the pitcher’s best pitches. But here is what the players said is different about this coach.
“They feel like superheroes when they walk out to the mound. The coach never told them, ‘don’t throw this pitch and don’t throw your other pitch to this batter.’” The coach knows that simply planting the thought of what not to do can actually shift their focus to doing the exact thing the coach wants them not to do.
“It’s like the adage, don’t think of an elephant, but immediately you think of an elephant. This coach knows how to keep his pitchers focused only on what to manifest and not on what to avoid. The coach instead only talks about focusing on the pitcher’s strengths.”
While it sounds like a simple philosophy, the players report that it is revolutionary in major league baseball. Players told the reporter that previous coaches emphasized what the players needed to fix or change, which put their focus into a problem mindset.
This is so aligned with a core philosophy of TED* (* The Empowerment Dynamic)®, which focuses more on what you want than on what you don’t want. The TED* framework emphasizes doing more of what you care about than on what needs fixing. If you ruminate on what you or others have judged is deficient, you will surely activate your inner Persecutor and the Dreaded Drama Triangle roles (DDT).
This brilliant coach embraced a simple truth about how to gain confidence and bring out the best in his players. Follow this coach’s lead and build upon your strengths and unique gifts.
Creators focus on the dos!
