Remembering Our Dear Friend and Creator David Emerald Womeldorff
What do Unthinkable Emotional Pain, Unimaginable Compassion, Uncommon Wisdom, and Uproarious Laughter share in common? All four of these are aspects of the deep, abiding, and…
By Jim Anderson, Longtime Friend and ColleagueWhat do Unthinkable Emotional Pain, Unimaginable Compassion, Uncommon Wisdom, and Uproarious Laughter share in common?
All four of these are aspects of the deep, abiding, and life-changing friendship I (and many of us) have been blessed to share with our dear friend and the founder of The Empowerment Dynamic, David Emerald Womeldorff. As the first anniversary of David’s passing approaches on April 16th, I was asked to share a few memories of his profound influence on my life.
My name is Jim Anderson. In the fall of 1991, I attended a retreat in Dayton, Ohio. I was feeling completely stuck in the deep, dark, unrelenting bouts of unthinkable emotional pain. I had never felt so lifeless and lost at any other point in my life. I was nervous, confused, and desperate, hoping that something would occur at this retreat that would support me in finding my way through this dark night of the soul. As I waited for the retreat to begin, a man walked in, sat down next to me, and introduced himself, “Hi, I am David Womeldorff.” I was caught by his warm, inviting smile, the glimmering light in his eyes, and his calming and encouraging presence. As I shared the depth of my despair with him throughout the weekend, I was caught by the gift of unimaginable compassion that he extended from his heart to mine. His loving presence proved to be a true healing balm for my aching soul. Little did I know that this chance encounter was the beginning of a priceless, enduring, and life-changing friendship.
A few years later, I attended a certification in a leadership effectiveness assessment called The Leadership Circle Profile. And, wonder of wonders, David was the lead instructor. Early in the four-day seminar, David was teaching the FisBe framework (Focus…Inner State…Behavior) that is so essential to TED* - The Empowerment Dynamic® and the 3 Vital Questions.
On the second day, David was inviting us to notice that when we focus on problems, we generate an anxious inner state that consistently results in highly reactive behaviors that seldom work. To further demonstrate this point in a more embodied way, he proceeded with setting up an exercise. He asked each of us to think about our favorite song of all time and be ready to come to the front of the room and sing it aloud for the entire group.
As those words penetrated my ears, my entire body went into an intense, contracted resistance! My gut wrenched, my heart light dimmed, my head began to spin nightmarish images of me crashing and burning in front of the whole class. My breathing became shallow, my face faded to an ashen grey color, and panic set in. At that point, David proceeded to say, “Jim, why don’t you go first.” I literally froze in my chair and could not stand or speak.
As the entire class looked at me, my facial expression said it all! In the peak of my anxiousness, David smiled and said, “Just kidding!” I felt an instant surge of immense relief as David and I burst into uproarious laughter. From that moment forward, humor became an essential ingredient in our ever-evolving friendship. Thanks to David’s sense of humor, I have never had any difficulty remembering the inner state and behavior that flow forward when I am in a problem orientation!
For nearly 20 years, I was blessed to join David as a part of a team supporting an Integral Leadership program at the University of Notre Dame. It was during this collaboration that I witnessed David embrace his deep inner calling, giving birth to TED* on the foundation of his deeply embodied understanding of Karpman’s Drama Triangle and the FISBE Framework. We would engage participants in 90-minute coaching sessions all day long and then gather for dinner with the other coaches supporting the program.
During the coaching sessions, David loved to use a whiteboard to illustrate key points with his clients. I will never forget the evening when David began to share the epiphany he had in a session while whiteboarding that afternoon. He was more alive than I have ever seen him, as he described The Empowerment Dynamic, the power of an outcome orientation, and the three relationship roles of Creator, Challenger, and Coach. It was evident that I was in the presence of a man infused with an uncommon wisdom that would have a profound, life-giving impact on my life, the lives of my children and grandchildren, my community, and the clients I serve.
Please join me in a moment of silence to honor David. Drop into the depths of your heart center and feel the appreciation you have for the unique ways your life has been, and is, being blessedby David’s presence and his gift of The Empowerment Dynamic and 3 Vital Questions.
Thank you for embracing this work in your life. You are making a profoundly beautiful contribution to humanity at this time in human history.
Thank you, David, for the priceless gifts of unthinkable emotional pain, unimaginable compassion, uncommon wisdom, and uproarious laughter that have been the cornerstones of our beautiful friendship. I love you, brother!