Choosing the Light in a Time of Darkness
I am writing this week from Mexico, where for the past three winters I have enjoyed the privilege of living here during the colder months in the US. Each time I arrive, I feel an almost immediate lift in my spirit. The…
I am writing this week from Mexico, where for the past three winters I have enjoyed the privilege of living here during the colder months in the US. Each time I arrive, I feel an almost immediate lift in my spirit. The warmth, the color, and the sunlight all recharge my batteries. I feel deeply blessed that I can step away from the long, wet, dark winters of my Northwest home and into this generous light.
Yet with each passing year, I’ve also come to realize that the darkness I am physically escaping has its own gifts. As much as my body thrives in sunlight, my inner life needs seasons of quiet, stillness, and reflection. The dark months, if I remain open to them, offer a kind of rest, a slowing down that invites reflection and renewal.
December 21, the winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, marks the shortest day and longest night of the year. Ancient cultures honored this turning of the seasons with ceremony and reverence, trusting the great rhythm of nature long before astronomy understood it. Even in the deepest darkness, they knew the light would return.
This annual cycle mirrors the inner experience of being human. We all have “solstice moments”—times when our energy dips, when reactivity takes hold, or when old patterns tug us back toward fear, self-criticism, or loneliness. These are the shadows of our Drama Triangle habits. In those moments, the darkness inside can feel heavier than the light we want to embody. We forget that even when we cannot see it, the light is still present.
For me, the solstice calls forth the Challenger role of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)®. The true Challenger is not harsh or punitive. It is the part of us willing to investigate the darkness and reflect. It offers us an opportunity to truthfully face what is real with love without collapsing into shame or denial. Ancient solstice traditions understood that darkness is not an enemy. It is nothing to fear.
My inner Challenger offers me the same wisdom. It asks me to look gently but honestly at my life. What am I ready to release? What am I asking to be birthed?
Just as the earth turns without our effort, something in us is always turning toward our goodness even though we often deny our divinity. The Creator, Challenger, and Coach roles within us that make up TED*, are patiently inviting us back to the light. This is the essence of the shift from the Dreaded Drama Triangle into TED*. We move from fear to choice, from reactivity to presence, from fixing or blaming to supporting growth.
At solstice, ancient people lit candles and fires to symbolize hope. They didn’t demand instant daylight—they trusted that the turning was already underway.
The shift from Victim to Creator begins in the same quiet way, no matter where we are physically in the world. Even here in Mexico—surrounded by warmth and sunlight—the deeper symbolism of the solstice speaks to me. We don’t need to figure everything out at once. We simply acknowledge, I have choice. I can take even the smallest step toward what I care about.This year, I have known deep darkness of another kind. David’s sudden passing left an ache and emptiness I certainly did not anticipate. There have been moments when my own inner solstice felt unbearably long. Yet even in that darkness, something quiet has been taking shape.
Slowly but undeniably, I am seeing new light and fresh openings—new partners, new creativity, new paths for spreading TED* into the world. One expression of this renewal is our new Creator Membership, launching in January. This will be a fresh and vibrant way for our community to learn, grow, and support one another. I feel genuine enthusiasm for this next chapter and hope you will say yes to joining the new Creator community.
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After a season of grief and shadow, the light is returning, and I am ready—gratefully, humbly—to walk toward it.
Here's to the Creator in you!
Donna
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