3 Ways of Applying TED*
For almost 20 years we have shared TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® with people and have noticed there tends to be 3 ways people use the framework. This is not a scientific study—simply our observation of how people respond to and apply the insights.
Group 1 (Fixing Others): These are people who immediately recognize the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer and how the TED* roles of Creator, Challenger, and Coach are the positive alternative to the DDT roles. They experience a sudden spark of awareness and start thinking about people they know.
We’ve named the first group “Fixing Others” because the questions and comments we hear from them are about how to get other people to change. In other words, the DDT to TED* shift is about other people and outside circumstances rather than themselves.
Group 2 (Fixing Myself): This group also immediately identifies with the DDT roles. They reflect upon the DDT role in which they spend the most time and how they get stuck in the drama in the first place. With this group, the DDT and TED* roles increase their self-awareness, but they can also experience more self-criticism. They frequently ask, “Now that I know about the DDT, why can’t I shift and live more frequently in TED*?” In a punishing paradox, their increased self-awareness can cause them more anguish. We call this group “Fixing Myself.”
Group 3 (TED*Ambassadors): The third group of people tells us the DDT and TED* framework completely explains their life experience, both their drama and their journey to self-empowerment. They often contact us to say they have become “TED* Ambassadors,” telling friends, family, and associates about TED* and their insights. They read our books, watch videos, take classes, and apply their insights on a regular basis.
They realize how much they’ve been sleepwalking through life and have awakened to appreciate their reactive triggers as an opportunity to learn. They still have setbacks, but they now pause, relax, and choose their response to life’s challenges. When triggering moments arise, they don’t drain their energy or inspiration by “fixing” themselves. Instead, they remember to have self-compassion as an essential ingredient to propel them toward self-empowerment.
You are on your own unique journey no matter which group—or no group—with which you identify. We believe you are reading this blog because you care about being your highest and best self. Wherever you are in your journey, each step is valuable and appropriate.
Our experience is that virtually everyone begins their “TED* Journey” in Group 1—thinking about their relationships with others. Many then turn their focus to themselves (Group 2) and their personal DDT and TED* experience.
Understanding where you are on your personal growth journey compared to others, is not helpful. If you approach your personal growth this way, you may try to compare or change yourself according to where you think you should be. This approach usually causes even more frustration. The main thing that’s helpful is to relax, continue to reflect and learn according to your life’s calling and experience.
You can support yourself by asking yourself essential questions such as, “What is my highest desire for myself? What are my values and how do I live fully aligned with them? What limiting stories do I still hold that block or slow my journey?”
There is no right or wrong way to shift from the DDT roles and live more fully in TED*. Where you are is exactly where you are. Celebrate with joy and compassion on your unique learning journey!
