All Events Are Neutral:
They Have Only the Meaning You Give Them I haven’t had a brand-new car in over twenty years. Recently, I purchased a sporty SUV in a gorgeous red color that felt bold and alive. About a month after I bought it, I drove…
They Have Only the Meaning You Give Them
I haven’t had a brand-new car in over twenty years. Recently, I purchased a sporty SUV in a gorgeous red color that felt bold and alive.
About a month after I bought it, I drove to my daughter’s home for dinner. As I pulled up behind their SUV and parallel parked (feeling a little smug that I had parked in a rather small space), I stepped out to admire how neatly I’d slipped into the spot.
And then I saw it.
The front bumper of my beautiful new car had crumpled like a piece of paper. I had not seen the bike rack that was sticking out from the back of my daughter’s SUV. I hadn’t felt a thing when it happened. But the evidence was undeniable.
I stared in disbelief. I stared some more.
That’s when one of my favorite mantras bubbled up from somewhere deeper than thought:“All events are neutral. All events are neutral.”I whispered it at first. Then repeated it like a song.“All events are neutral… all events are neutral…”And here’s my remarkable insight. The dented bumper wasn’t bad. It just WAS! - A neutral event. No blame. No fault. No self-criticism. No need to assign a Persecutor.“All events are neutral.” I know that seems like a radical statement, but I have grown to appreciate its reality. When I first embraced this truth, it took me into a deep shift in perception that moved me from reactivity to reasonability. This principle invited me to see that while I may not understand external events, I can choose the meaning I give them, and therefore my reaction to them.
I want to be clear: living by the idea that all events are neutral doesn’t mean I ignore real pain, injustice, or grief. It means that I pause long enough to recognize the difference between what happens and the meaning I give to it. And that’s where most of us get caught.
Often when people hear, “all events are neutral”, their first reaction may be:
- “Are you kidding me?” “Bad stuff happens all the time.”
- “That was a terrible thing that happened.”
- “It ruined everything.”
- “I screwed up again.”
However, If everything is neutral and I give it all the meaning it has, then it follows that there could be more possibility in this moment than I ever realized from my limited interpretation of events. Could it be that there’s something more to consider than I believe is possible? Could there perhaps be a different or broader way of defining an event than I might imagine?
This opens us to the realization that we are always at choice as to how we view a situation or event. When I remind myself that all events are neutral, I am closer to recognizing that the situation and my response to it can be anything I choose it to be. This is the truth of who we are as Creators.
Adopting the, “all events are neutral”, mantra has been radical for me because it helps me to pause and notice the automatic default meanings that I attribute to them. If I can look lovingly at my values and interpretations, I can be more truthful about my judgments and opinions about those events.
When I dented my car, I could have told a story that I was careless, that I ruined something precious, or that someone else was to blame. That’s the voice of my inner Persecutor—and trust me, she used to be very loud. But I’ve been learning over time that I can turn down that volume.
Yes, all events are neutral. The good news is you have the power to choose the meaning you ascribe to them and the ability to attune to the infinite possibilities that are yet to emerge.