In last week’s essay, we suggested a specific tip to interrupt your reactive, drama-filled behavior by “Naming 5 Red Things.” That tip was focused on how you can limit your drama. What about being with others when they are having a “drama attack?” What do you do? What do you say? We have several suggestions, but […]
We are often asked, “How do I get out of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)?” We avoid offering a prescribed answer to that question because each person is unique, and the situations are often too complex. Your neurology and body are designed to constantly be scanning for threats, so it is on the lookout for […]
The Persecutor role in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) uses control and domination to take charge of a situation. Persecutors may show up in our lives as people, or they may also be conditions (such as a health issue) or situations, (such as a natural disaster). Regardless of the form, the Persecutor dominates the time […]
You don’t call your cell phone selfish for having little juice left in its battery. Instead you immediately find the closest charger. Yet “selfish” is what you may call yourself when you need recharging. Confusing the difference between self-care and being selfish can block your ability to create an essential self-care practice. If you have […]
Many of you may know that I (Donna) am a baseball fan. I grew up playing softball, the only sport available to girls in our small Missouri town when I was growing up. I continue to enjoy the finer points of the game. Last week I watched a relief pitcher on my favorite team, come […]
It is often said that the words and phrases you use are an indication of what you believe about yourself. By listening to your language, you can increase your awareness of unconscious patterns of speech that may keep you stuck in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). The good news is that once you hear your […]
We have been putting off writing this newsletter. Okay, that is supposed to be a joke and there are plenty of procrastination jokes out there. Did you hear about the procrastinators club that never met? Or about the author who planned a book on procrastination but never wrote it? For those who routinely procrastinate, the […]
There’s a fine line between being helpful and over-functioning. Once you slip into over-functioning mode, you don’t have a choice to act. Your craving to act becomes an urge, almost like an obsession. In this fast-paced world, many of us “over-do” and become vigilant about what might go wrong. As soon as we sense a […]
A client called us a few weeks ago to share that his company was being bought by another company. While the news was good in various ways, many of his staff were caught off guard and were naturally feeling victimized by the sudden news. He wanted additional support for his staff during the transition and […]
We have noticed that some days both of us can complain a lot. The complaints might be about everyday things, such as not sleeping well, we’re out of our favorite coffee, or bigger complaints about the state of the world. We have also noticed that every time we complain, there’s a little voice inside of […]