The journey from Victim consciousness to Creator consciousness is not always easy, nor does it travel along a straight line. We prefer to think of it as a continuum, with your center of gravity gradually moving away from the disempowering Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) roles and closer to the empowering roles of TED* (*The Empowerment […]
How do conflicts begin? In general, conflicts begin in relationships when each side races to occupy the Victim position. Here is typically what happens: The first person or group claims a Victim position by saying to the other, “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you causing all the problems?” The other side […]
Guest blog written by long-time friend, Certified TED* Coach, and 3VQ Certified Trainer, Christy Vincent, Ph.D. _________________________________ I was disheartened to read the student reviews I received from the university Capstone Course that I taught in the fall semester of 2018. It was clear that my intentions for the students did not match their satisfaction […]
This past summer, I (David) played a lot of outdoor pickleball. Several weeks ago, there was a local tournament called the Founder’s Tournament, which had 480 participants from around the world. It is called the Founder’s Tournament because the sport was created in 1965 in our community, which is Bainbridge Island, Washington. The story of […]
I, Donna, love baseball. I grew up playing baseball in the backyard of our small rural family home. When the neighborhood boys were old enough to play Little League, I was left without a team since girls were not allowed to play. (Yes, I am that old! I grew up before the US Title IX […]
Imagine you are on a telephone call talking with a co-worker about a project the two of you are working on. At the end of the call your colleague says with some tremor in her voice, “I will have the project summary to you by the end of the week.” Sensing her stress, you offer […]
There is a lot of conversation these days about psychological safety. What is it, and how do we create it? To quote Dr. Timothy Clark, you can sum it up in five words; “Psychological safety is an environment of rewarded vulnerability.” What comes to your mind when you consider the idea that vulnerability is either […]
Picture this scene: You are rushing out the door from work heading to soccer practice to pick up your young daughter. Your boss catches you and says, “We really need your project report in the morning.” “Sure,” you say, “it’s all but done. See you tomorrow,” and you keep running to your car. On the […]
From time to time everyone experiences the feeling of being powerless to life’s challenges. When you feel powerless there is a good chance you will take on a Victim mentality, believing your hopes and dreams will never come true. This is the origin of the Victim role—one of the three roles that make up the Dreaded […]
The need to please others is one of the most important social skills for all human beings. Appropriately pleasing one another keeps us connected and helps us to survive and thrive together. The challenge comes when your pattern of habitual pleasing is your dominant response to life. It becomes an obsession rather than a choice. […]