What do you listen for? When you begin to “listen to how you listen, you may notice a lot of preconceptions and judgmental comments. For example, even if you’re not parenting a teenager, imagine for a moment you say to your teenager: “Why can’t you put that phone down for just one night and spend […]
Halloween is celebrated around the world this weekend. It is a festive holiday that has its roots in various folk legends and religious rituals, including the “Day of the Dead,” which is a popular Latin holiday. In secular society, Halloween is synonymous with horror movies, ghosts, and the “shadow side” of being human. The term […]
The need to please others is one of the most important social skills for all human beings. Appropriately pleasing one another keeps us connected and helps us to survive and thrive together. The challenge comes when your pattern of habitual pleasing is your only response to life—it becomes an obsession rather than a choice. We […]
When you hit your breaking point, you may hurt the feelings of others and may say something you regret later, making a difficult situation even worse. When you reach that moment, chances are you justify what you said or did because that is part of what happens when you reach your breaking point. It is […]
Earlier this week, David was on a Zoom session with a group of individuals who have read The Power of TED*. During introductions, several participants shared that they want to take the TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® work to youth and into schools. At the same time, many, many parents are faced with the reality of […]
In the 1960’s Dr. Stephen Karpman first described the three reactive and problem-focused roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer that he named the Drama Triangle. One role—that of Rescuer—is especially familiar to us. We often say that we are both “recovering Rescuers.” The Rescuer role is the “pain reliever” in the Drama Triangle and focuses […]
Over the years, readers have shared their stories with us about how they are applying TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® in their lives. This week we begin an exciting new feature to our weekly blog. We are capturing these stories on video and will be sharing them with you from time to time. In the brief […]
At the core of the TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® work is love and appreciation for others. We first must see others as Creators, whether they act like it or not, before we can be in an empowering, drama-free relationship. Fear, however, is the emotion that drives all 3 roles of Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor that […]
Growing up, we both heard these phrases from our parents: “Be nice, Donna, and get along.” David heard “you have to learn to share,” and “don’t fight” was a favorite. Our parents did the best they could, and what many of these phrases taught us was to be overly agreeable. We humans are drawn to […]
“Once I reach my goal, I will be happy,” is what most people say when they set a goal. What is problematic about this approach to life is the idea that your happiness is somewhere in the future and not available to you now. Goals, by their nature, fool you into thinking that outside circumstances […]
