We have a friend who complained about the ups and downs and volatility of the stock market in the last few days. He focused on his dream of a larger retirement check, rather than the comfortable retirement he now has. We have another friend who complains about not being able to travel, insisting that she […]
It may sound like a lot to accept the idea of welcoming all your emotions. It’s great to feel happy and joyful, but how about the uncomfortable emotions like anger, sadness, and frustration? For most of us, it is not easy to be comfortable with these heavier emotions. With the pandemic and disruptions everywhere, you […]
One of the faster ways to put yourself into a drama relationship with yourself and others is to pretend you know something when you don’t. If you pretend you know how to fix your computer after it crashes, rather than ask for help from a computer professional, you will only cause yourself frustration. Pretending you […]
When your car is low on gas, you don’t beat on its dashboard and tell it to keep going. You acknowledge it is low on fuel and fill its gas tank (or for an electric car, you recharge it). You don’t call your cell phone selfish for having little juice left in its battery. Instead, […]
Have you ever wondered about the origins of the saying “waiting for the other shoe to drop?” It began in the early 1900’s with poorly constructed buildings in the U.S. that had very thin floors and walls. At night, tenants would often hear their neighbors above them getting ready for bed. Part of the nighttime […]
The simple act of asking for support or help can become a huge issue for anyone stuck in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). As recovering Rescuers, we (David & Donna) have both struggled with asking for help at times. When we are stuck in the Rescuer role, we believe our job is to help others […]
It may be one of the most common things we say to ourselves: “I will be happy when…” How do you complete that sentence? You may say you will be happy when you have a new home, better job, a different body shape, a new relationship, or a dream vacation. Unfortunately, this is backward thinking. […]
There is a leadership story that illustrates being trapped in repetitive tasks. The story goes like this: There was a hermit who would cut enough wood each summer to heat his forest cabin through the winter. One day, he heard on his shortwave radio that an early winter storm was heading his way. He rushed […]
As we write this week’s issue, Americans are celebrating the July 4th holiday, which commemorates the United States’ Declaration of Independence from the British Empire. The immortal words “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all (men) are created equal…” opens this historic declaration. As a nation, we are still striving to fully live […]
Most of the self-help books and advice blogs these days include this advice: “You must learn to set healthy boundaries.” If you are anything like us, the idea of setting boundaries sounds like a good idea—and many days it is so much easier to say “yes” just to keep the peace than it is to […]