Amplify the Good
Remember a time when you got a new car and suddenly you noticed cars like yours everywhere? You had never noticed it before, but now there’s so many!
Your attention creates your reality. What you focus on acts like a mirror and reflects back to you what you project.
Last week’s blog was about the Kindship of Victimhood and how easy it is to get drawn into conversations about all that is wrong with life. In this mindset, your life-mirror reflects more of what you don’t like and don’t want.
The point is simple, yet profound. In every moment you are noticing and reflecting something. Do you notice the negative and all that is wrong, or do you look for and amplify the good?
Researchers have demonstrated that humans spend a lot of time remembering and thinking about negative experiences. Focusing on danger helped our ancestors survive very real threats. But our goodness and desire to connect and support one another is also built into our human system. In fact, the positive is stronger than the negative if you are willing to notice the good and amplify it.
Because paying attention to what may go wrong is built into our human operating system, focusing on the good must be an intentional choice and philosophy of life.
I (Donna) am a lifelong baseball fan. A friend who coached softball for years often said, “No one goes up to bat to strike out.” Her success as a coach came from supporting her players and looking for the good, building upon their strengths rather than emphasizing their misses.
The challenge here is to not be pollyannish and deny the problems, the swings and misses, and suffering. It is quite the opposite. You can see all that is wrong in the world and be the one who is willing to go beyond the circumstances and choose the good that is always operating, often right in front of you.
It is easier to allow problems to define your reality. It is a courageous act of leadership to be a stand for what is possible, even in the face of the difficult.
Here is a 3-step process to shift your focus toward amplifying the good.
- Intentionally decide you want to look for the good. As a child, you may have heard family members complain or were taught that it is better to focus on the negative, so as to not expect too much or be disappointed. Now, as an adult, you can balance how you see life. You can decide you want to look for the good to attract more of it.
- Draw out and enjoy positive experiences and savor the positive emotions that arise. Resting in the positive strengthens the chemical connections in the brain that promote healing, calm, and resilience.
- The most powerful way to get the results you’re looking for in yourself and others is to find what’s working, and give it a platform, amplifying it for praise and appreciation. For example, do you honor others and their achievements? Are you a loving mirror to others, and their good?
Amplifying the good works like lifting weights in the gym. The more you practice noticing the more you strengthen what is working rather than mirroring the negative. This way of living has a higher chance of creating positive relationships, creativity, and you simply feel better!
Never underestimate the power of your mind. How you work with your focus and what you notice, will transform your life for the good, if you are willing. It really is a matter of choice, and you are the one who gets to choose.